“When people are ready to, they change.~ Andy Warhol, artist.
I am rapidly approaching my favorite time of the year ….. New Year’s. Reflection and plans. Seeing where I incorporated those items that feed my spirit, and where I let the ball drop. A time of change – or reinforcement for what works for me.
Consideringly, Warhol, in his book “Andy Warhol in His Own Words” went on to say… “They never do it before then, and sometimes they die before they get around to it. You can’t make them change if they don’t want to, just like when they do want to, you can’t stop them.”
Ain’t that the truth !! I cannot count-the-countless (ha!) times, both professionally and personally, I have wondered why ‘they’ can’t see-the-light / make-a-change / drop-a-negative-behavior / embrace-the-light (so to speak). I puzzle and ponder, share thoughts and guidance (professionally) (sharing opinions personally ~ double ha! there!!), and continue to watch “what-needs-to-be-changed” remain unchanged.
On the other side of that, I have watched, with awe, wonder and celebration, folks embrace enhancing change-making in their lives both at and in the most unexpected ways. Sometimes in jaw-dropping ways! (One of the many gifts and honors of working with folks in rehab or the 12-step community has been the awe & wonder (and privilege) of seeing first-hand major changes made.) Lives blossom, histories become just that – history, self-love and -esteem echo out. Couldn’t stop ’em!
[And yes, there have been plenty of those that don’t. Too many funerals; too many epitaphs heard or written. “…and sometimes they die before they get around to it.”]
Indeed, both 2020 and 2021 have been about “change” (soooooo much of it ‘enforced’ – so, is it really change? Or adaptation?) Huh – Time will tell. Yet for those that have heard their own personal siren’s song or wake-up call, creating change became an imperative.
Whether others like or dislike the change, approve or disapprove, the fact is change, large and small, was incorporated. Or Not. Same criterion. (It’s important, as I re-Mind myself, I stay off their ‘results committee.’ Ahhh, mirror mirror: Lin, see paragraph one!)
If someone is working on changing something about or in their life (and they have had the courage to share that information with you), encourage them. Don’t grill ’em, point out the mis-takes that will probably happen, take measure of ‘how well they are doing.’ Simply encourage. If someone else is choosing to remain in their, shall we say ‘less-than-self-loving’ pattern, you’re the one that has to make choices ~ for you. [12-Step 101.] (Whoa! What??? I’ve got to make a choice? Possibly a change …. in thinking, acting, planning?) Yup. When you’re ready.
Andy, Andy, Andy.