“Rest and recuperation: refers to time that members of the armed forces spend relaxing, away from their usual duties.”
~ Collins English Dictionary.
I grew up with this acronym part of household lingo. Over time, and civilianness, it transferred jargon-wise to ‘rest and relaxation’ and/or ‘rest and recreation.’ In whatever form, the basis was to set aside the daily grind, put worries on-the-shelf, step into an arena whereby one could potentially decompress, enjoy, unwind, play.
I was sharing a meal with a friend a couple weeks ago, and the conversation at one point turned to the process of grieving (both of us had loved ones die recently). Emotional and mental distress, replaying scenes that were joyful and/or painful, feeling the weight of loss.
How to move through the experiences ~ and why that journey is often arduous.
Spontaneously (which still surprises me at times) I found myself saying “it’s about resentments, and regrets. Needing to let go and forgive. Them. Us.” Huh. No truer words on the subject spoken, (She said modestly.)
A different R&R, yet with the same results: a lightening of the mental-and-emotional load, decompression, and yes, even moving into Joy.
Of course, the key is forgiveness work.
Resentments: Being in a heart-felt place of Forgiving perceived and actual ‘wrong-doings.’ Recognizing the inability to physically wind-back-the-clock to a different desired outcome. Recognizing that heart-and-gut wrenching inability to have one more in-person conversation to explain and/or gain understanding. Huh. Not happenin’. They’re dead.
You’re not.
Today, only Your choice to forgive Them can happen in this here-and-now.
Regrets: Those woulda, coulda, shoulda self-castigations. Same antidote. Being in a heart-felt place of Forgiving perceived and actual ‘wrong-doings.’ Recognizing the inability to physically wind-back-the-clock to a different desired outcome. Recognizing that heart-and-gut wrenching inability to have one more in-person conversation to explain and/or gain understanding. Huh. Not happenin’. They’re dead. You’re not. Only your choice to forgive Yourself can happen in this same here-and-now.
Forgive. Let the ‘story’ go. Release them. Release yourself.
What a powerful, and wonderful, way to unload the baggage of the past, and not carry any more of it into the upcoming new year. Now THAT’s a way to start some real R&R.
Hope you pack lighter.
Namaste’ Lin