Menu Close


It all starts with a belief about something (often lots of ‘somethings’) … and ends with one’s destiny. Sounds a bit far-fetched yet broken down in the manner in which Gandhi delineates, the flow makes perfect {and somewhat spooky} sense. So, let’s take a look at the path a ‘belief’ travels.  First off ~ the belief got absorbed into consciousness somewhere ‘back there’ … probably [probably ? … hahahaha] in the wee early years of your existence. The belief was based on a predicate ~ an event.

It is well studied and documented that early beliefs are absorbed into sub-conscious throughout those early days, weeks and months of life, l-o-n-g before the construct of ‘words’ are known. It is sound: tone/intonation, loudness, whispers, sing-song or musical, jarring;  visuals: pleasing, confusing, scary; the tactile: soft, rough, gentle, soothing, abrupt; and those every-present emotions (without names as of yet) that cover the basics: happy, scary, content, angry, safe … those same basic emotions that guide our journeys today. The  dog’s loud ferocious bark, the insecure caregiver’s tentative attempt to comfort, the jealous sibling’s pinch, even the strident doom/gloom newscast emanating from the television. (Yes, seriously !)  It’s also the gentle rocking to soothe, the smiles and laughter when that infant coo’s, the applause when first steps are taken. ALL of these non-verbals become structured into a belief system. What’s considered ‘good’ or ‘bad,’ safe or scary, loving or mean. Approaches or avoidances. Learned early, early on.

Interestingly enough. these core beliefs set the framework for evaluating, judging, accepting or rejecting future events. And yes, again, seriously!  My thoughts are based on my beliefs, I learn to give words (based on my feelings) about those events/beliefs. More and more folks know about the power of the thought-or-spoken word. At this point, my word basically forms my Code of Conduct {“my word is my bond” – including ‘self-talk’) which sets into motion the movement [or ‘action’] I take in a multitude of directions. Lather, rinse, repeat.  Habits.  And like all habits (healthy or unhealthy), these actions/habits are how I (and how others) judge me and my relationship with myself and all things outside myself. My values. How I interact with the world. My destiny. Wowzer !!!

The delightful part about all of this is the opportunity to create a different destiny ~ a newer more fulfilling pathway, ‘simply’ by “reversing direction” aimed at changing some of my long-held values based on changing old habits, because I revise my Code of Conduct after I recognize my words are not loving or empowering, because I truly examine what knee-jerk beliefs I’ve held ad infinitum (and ad nauseam) while openly, self-lovingly, and h-o-n-e-s-t-l-y acknowledged the feelings that have held sway for 23 or 38 or 47 or 56 years, that are no longer valid today !  See how easy that was!!!  {I think that rates another hahahahaha !!}

One can view this process as looking for a needle in a haystack (hopeless and overwhelming, right?), or peeling the layers off the Onion of life (arduous and tearful), or as a Quest (Homeric – fraught with perils, Arthurian – filled with sorcery, or Cambellesque – dissolving myths). Each way brings the heroine/hero to their truth, when persistent.  What about you?  Willing to look? Whether you wish to be a shaolin monk wandering like Caine, or David Bannister looking for an antidote for his Hulk (or … possibly softer, gentler ways in between), there is an opportunity to create a new destiny. A thought at a time.

While you are contemplating that, go hunt down that sextant. I’ve got the mapping paper. Let’s help each other chart a course!  Let the adventure begin.

Lin Church, Mssw

Coach ~ Mentor ~ Writer ~ Presenter:  JourneyWoman