Menu Close

Easy vs Response-Ability

“The space for what you want is already filled with what you’ve settled for instead.”

~ As told to Lin – Author Unknown

A reflective mood this week.  Been watching and studying myself and others.  Been listening to words being said (mine and others). Been observing actions being taken – or not.  (Yup, myself and others). Have some “interesting” conclusions ~ or at least possible probabilities. Ha.

Most (myself included) take the “easy way.”  Even in the midst of discomfort ~ even in the midst of extreme disharmony, whether occurring inside Self or out-picturing, the Easy Way is the default choice. Sometimes, it is the primary choice  “Don’t upset the apple cart.”  “What will other people think?!”  “Can’t you just be normal??!!” 

Had lunch this past week with someone I really admire. He’s developed (not ‘eased into’) a way of living, and a belief structure, of accountability. Professional and personal accountability. Self-accountability. And with this, also demanding accountability from those around him, whether it be employees, loved ones, vendors, co-workers, his own elementary-school aged child. Wow! How courageous. What a way-show-er.

And yes, I know. “Demanding.” Can be viewed as such a heavy-handed word.  Or can be the putting into words and actions a Boundary for self that speaks to Core values. Not asking of anyone else what is not demonstrated by himself. Taking and demonstrating Responsibility. Wow again.

Because ….. 

The Easy Way is not necessarily without discomfort, even in choosing ‘Easy.’ Consequences of Easy can be the same-ol’ same-ol’ drama. It can be choosing to continue to bitch-and-blame.  It can be (subconsciously or not) that desire for praise for …. self-sacrifice; getting through another fill-in-the-blank; staring in the drama-stories that rival an Emmy-award-winning tv series. {Thank you, thank you. I’d like to thank the Academy, all the cast and crew. Thanks to the viewers too, for they help keep this story alive!}  The Easy Way can be joining in with conversations based in fear, of lack-and-limitation, of them-vs-us. It is familiar. It is “comfortable;” it is reaction. It is habit. It is expected!

Now to …..

Responsibility. The Ability to Respond. 

Responding takes time and conscious thought. It takes an understanding (and an internal acknowledgement)  of what matters to Self. (Not those habituals or use-to-thinkings. Not the Tribe.) What really matters. To Self.  Then to take action that aligns. It’s a tough road ~ or can be, especially in the beginning. (Heck, even in the middles and further down the road!) It can feel uncomfortable to speak one’s truth, as it is known in this moment. To act one’s truth, one’s Knowing, of who one is and what is believed. It’s sometimes lonely too. (Can become even more so when greater experience and knowledge is gained, and steps taken lead to another, deeper truth. And different steps.)  “See! You’re just being flakey and wishy-washy.  Get your act together!” 

Huh.  It’s Your  Act.  You can choose to Live it with response-ability.

What price is otherwise paid?  Hmmmm.  

Living a life that is “filled with what you’ve settled for instead.”