“The changes we dread most may contain our salvation.”
~ Barbara Kingsolver, author: ‘Small Wonder.’
For those ‘faithful readers,’ y’all know I’ve been looking at….. most everything….. that makes up the tapestry of my life. Choices made. Directions taken. Paths left untrod. Illusions and delusions. Joys and gratitudes. It’s been quite an exploration, and one I’ve (overall) enjoyed doing. (Yes, she is a bit strange that way! Ha!)
I find a great deal of truth in Kingsolver’s quote; many of those impending ‘things’ that felt scary and ‘bump-in-the-nightish’ actually turned out to be minor (and sometimes major) shifts that were exactly what enhanced me, and the direction I didn’t know I was needing to go.
Being a kid who lived in 3 countries / 8 locales by the time I was 11, there were a lot of changes. Especially at a time and age when I had no ‘say-so’ about any of them. They simply were what they were – and I went along.
Hindsight ~ and reflection ~ has allowed me to pick up on, not only the bigger realizations, yet also the nuances attached to most all those changes, and actually have moments of ‘Huh – go figger! That was pretty great!’ Even some of the un-great times built a life-experience that, when I chose to use it as a walking stick instead of a cudgel (just as often beating myself up with it as [metaphorically] others), has helped me stand in good stead with changes and choices in the intervening years.
A joking (???) phrase in many of the 12-Step meetings I’ve attended is the declaration of “Oh look. Another freakin’ growth experience.” (Well, it’ IS an honest Program, and ‘freakin’ wasn’t the word used. Hahahaha!) Yet I do love the ability to toss some humor at just about any upcoming (or in my face) challenge or change. Sometimes it simply takes a bit of perspective (or smart-witted-ness) to do so.
And now, March is upon the horizon. Ooops ~ it’s already dawned. More change, be it ‘time’ or season or growth and renewal. It’s happening. Not stopping it. With or without approval.
Do I whimper “oooohhhh – drat – scat!” or shout “Put up yer dukes; bring it on. Show me whatcha got!” Avoidance or aggression.
Huh.
Maybe a slice of salvation lies somewhere in between. Think I’ll give that a try.
Namaste’ to you.