“The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it’s taking place.”
~ George Bernard Shaw.
Whoa! That’s a “got’cha!
Sooooo often I think I am communicating with someone, when in actuality I am simply moving my lips. Talking. Talk, talk, talk, talk. Tahhhalk, talk. talk. Talking.
(According to superduperinc.com, the actual anatomical act of speaking (talking) “…occurs by air coming from the lungs, through the vocal folds, and out of the mouth. ...” Sounds are shaped using tongue placement and lip curvature. Noise emerges. Meaning is conveyed, hopefully to an audience who is also familiar with the guttural sounds forthcoming. ‘Language’ as it were.)
Talking. Telling another something. Usually, “at” someone. Blowing hot air.
Communication. Sharing something with another, usually in the hopes of creating a dialog. Dialog. Conversation between two or more persons when all are allowed to, and are encouraged to, actively participate. Speaking AND listening to the Others. Purposeful. Full of purpose. Gaining clarity and insight. Expressing clarity and insights. Also, working diligently to refrain from evaluating right-wrong, judging, manipulating, or convincing. Explaining is okey-dokey. Excuse-making is not. Curiosity is cool. Platitudes are verboten.
What started this Quote’s train-of-thinking moving down-its-tracks was a ‘Huh’ question I had asked someone. {You may recall, back a couple of posts ago, I mentioned that I have a ‘Huh” thinking process. Huh – why is the sky blue? Huh – isn’t it interesting (to me) that x+y=z. Huh – I never thought of “it” that way. Huh – }.My ‘huh’ questions are not attached to anything particular, except curiosity. Gaining knowledge. Gaining understanding of something I had previously not known. The ‘huh’s rarely come from a place of feeling judgmental or left-out. {They use to; I give great thanks for my own journey works today!} No prurient interests involved. Haha!
I was wanting to discover an answer(s) to a ‘huh’ and, also, create a dialog ~ communication. Sharing. Gaining insights. That’s all. That’s much!
Prior to my Recovery journey, there were a million-and-one ‘huh’s and questions I carried around inside me like a sack of rocks. Don’t ask; don’t talk; don’t tell. Shhhhh; that’s private (a secret). If I’d wanted you to know that, I’d have told you. What business is it of your’s! What will the neighbors’ think?! What will the Church …. school … family …. friends …. think! Sack of rocks.
Through diligent, arduous, heart-felt (and sometimes heart-wrenching) work over the past several decades, I have come to a place {which I hope continues to grow and grow} of giving myself permission to ask questions, ponder ‘huh’s, and seek understanding. Cool beans ! No more stepping around piles of poop (thankya elephant) in the living room as I hand out canapes and smile. “I’m fine. It’s fine. You’re fine.” {Haha ~ there are those who know what f.i.n.e. stand for !!} It’s okay to say “huh, there’s an elephant in the living room.” Upon meaningful communication, it may turn out that the elephant is a favorite pet of Aunt Bessie’s and she brought it back from her travels to Thailand. She simply has not found a place to stable it. Huh.
Or … maybe, when the light is shined upon it, the huge elephant-shadow is really a teeny-tiny hamster. Huh. Shadow puppet-to-actuality. Wouldn’t have known unless a ‘huh’ occurred and I thought to move the flashlight in closer. Been willing to ask. Been willing to question. No judgment. No side-taking. No old patterns of thinking. Huh – what about going out and getting a hamster wheel! No more poop on the floor!!
Simply a desire to communicate. Understand. Find solutions if required. Find balance and peace and more of Self.
I guess this is an over-riding Wish of mine at this point in history. In this current daily strangeness. That folks adopt a ‘huh’ curiosity, and begin Communicating with each other. Be it family or friends. Be it neighborhoods and communities. To share thoughts and feelings and ‘reasons why.’ To gain understanding. To create positive and helpful (vs hurtful) solutions. Huh. I wonder if that can happen. Or …. do I put on my waders and still step in the poop? Huh. I think The emperor is nude.
Namaste’
[There’s a television commercial out right now. Lavazza. It uses the voice and words of Charlie Chaplin – from 1940. At a time the world was going nutso. At a time of fear permeating countries and cultures. (The virus was ‘hate.’) At a time of upheaval and separation. The Images chosen for this commercial are 2020, not 1940. The words, especially, still ring true today. If you’re curious, take a peak: . https://www.ispot.tv/ad/nuqO/lavazza-the-new-humanity ]