“When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.”~ Bernard Bailey, physicist.
Oh, don’tcha know! I do know a number of people like this…. and truth be told, I have seen her in the mirror a time or two as well. (Blush!)
There is a delicate balance as one learns the truths about dependency, codependency, independancy, then segueing into interdependence (boundaries INTACT and respected on all sides), and, finally, up the spiritually-centered spiral of unity. The phases. The journey. The touchstone.
By no means is this a linear path! Although Piaget alluded to this with his ‘Stages of Cognitive Development,’ (birth to tweenhood) without a doubt the growth and guidance from them-that-raised-us plays SUCH an impactful role. Healthy and unhealthy. (Psssst….and those that ‘we’ raised get included here too. Ouch!!)
However, if the ‘work in the middle‘ isn’t done, there is no sling-shot remedy to We Are All One. No way, no how. No ‘Giant Leap for [Hu]Mankind.’ Nope, not gonna happen. No “exploring strange new worlds, seeking out new life and new civilizations, boldly going….” Uh-uh; nice try. Can’t be beamed up; not without the work in the middle. Bummer!!!
I find it interesting too, that the ‘stages of adulthood’ and the different life passages bring their own chunks of emotional roadblockage (and detours) that muddy the waters and obscure the path ’til (personally) I’m standing there thinking “I already worked with, and through clearing all this stuff. What the heck [not the real word used!] am I doing ‘back here’ again?!”
I’ve entered retrograde. (Hey, it can happen to Mars, it can happen to me! : ). All hell breaks loose, emotionally and in thought, some old habits are revisited, new healthier habits ‘just aren’t working,’ and I spin …..’til I act and feel like I’m the center of the universe. (Ha! Remember how well that worked last time!)
Solutions? Solutions! Do what worked before. Step back (maybe all the way to that First Step ~ life’s unmanageability. Hmmm.) Pick up the primer. Use a Beginner’s Mind. Listen to the words that come tumbling out of the mouth ~ also those that run rabid around inside the head. (Mine sometimes embarrass me ‘cuz ‘old boundaryless language’ has slipped in. Or – drat – the ‘absolutes’ of always and never, should and must. Alors!!)
Stop … and … believe again. Believe in the ability to recenter, believe in the knowledge of ‘what worked well’ in that healthy way that moved you forward in the past. Step into sync with it all again. Watch others orbit around ~ sharing the cosmos. Realize you are the center of YOUR universe ~ simply no one else’s. Yes!