“…piece together the clues that have lived in your life, and wonder where they might have been pointing you.”~ Nic Askew.
As is my ‘norm’ I tend to spend a portion of a new year asking myself various questions …. such as ‘what did I enjoy this past year’ …. ‘what stands out as a crowning moment (or event)’ …. ‘where have I been unkind to myself’ … ‘where have I been unkind to others’ …. ‘what was I slacking-on-doing that, truth be told, I just don’t really want to do’…
It becomes a reality check with and for myself. Especially as I embrace being honest. (Whoa! Tell myself the truth??!)
Taking it a step further with Nic’s suggestion I also again decided to go back and look at the clues-that-have-lived-in-my-life. (Never thought to view them as clues!) Not just the fancy-schmancy or the buckets-full-o-fun, the sterling moments that shone brightly in memory or the deeply resonant moments of grace; I also have been looking at the ‘sucky’ and the breadcrumbs (if I chose to follow them) of what-led-to-the-sucky.
Now there I’ve found some astounding clues! Go figger! People, places, things, and events. Some of my connecting, some of ‘happenstance’ (if there ever is such a thing; kinda like coincidences….Not!) Some things and events beyond my control … except for the fact that I was there – in the vicinity as it were. (Huh, what led me to that vicinity? Another set of clues.)
Many of these clues were actually affirmations of what has spoken to me my whole life: what sits true and pure in my head/heart/gut – my spirit. An honest Knowing, before I consciously even knew. (The unique “Lin-ness” of this me who showed up on this planet.) Those clues also Included negatively viewed event(s) that were the antithesis of what ‘speaks.’ I’ve come to recognize … bit by bit … that my labeling them sucky really had to do with (1) them being the opposite of Lin-ness, (2) my resistance to the event-person-place-thing at hand, and (3) my judgment [right/ wrong/ good/ bad] of their merit.
Interestingly though, when I take the time to move away from judgment of…. and into evaluating the merit of …. having or experiencing the PPTE, as it pertains to my essence, the ‘ohhhh; I-get-it‘ is revealed. (Definitely a V-8 moment! Or thirty.)( Color me chagrined.) Yup, breadcrumb clues all the way back to kidhood. Amazing.
There’s a Program phrase “It ain’t about them.” Huh, ain’t it the truth. It’s about every nuance of thought-reaction that imprinted into the Catalog of Likes and Dislikes within. With corresponding pictures (ala the old Sears Roebuck ‘wish book’ the fam got in the mail twice a year). And, sometimes there’s even surround-sound. As I re-Mind myself of the ‘point of power’ that dwells within, I feel stronger – less burdened by carrying old baggage, presuppositions, shoulds and musts, have-to’s and dare-not-do’s. (I’m also getting ‘betta’ at remembering that.) (More Quicker. Ha!)
Remembering…. without arrogance, judgment, righteously-rightness, people-pleasing, self-victimization, sky-is-falling doom-thinking, and the plethora of ain’t-it-awfuling and they’re-out-to-get-me. (No they ain’t.) Instead, don’t let ‘you’ get you.
Remember too …. There is a you-ness of you. Hope you take the time to find her/him, refine him/her, and move into Being uniquely you. Follow the clues that have been there all along – sight (and insight) – unseen. Where might they have been pointing you?