“Every life has a measure of sorrow, and sometimes this is what awakens us.”
~ Steven Tyler.
Had an endearing conversation with a young extended family member the other evening. They had just recently experienced the death of a co-teen sibling….w-a-y too incomprehensible. (‘Natural’ causes. Aneurysm. Yet what’s “natural” about a late teen dying that suddenly? Doesn’t quite compute.)
It got me thinking (….’and what doesn’t’ you ask! Ha!) The ‘traditional’ mindset is that the old farts die first. Yes, ‘old’ is relative….usually related to one’s own age. To an elementary schooler, 30 is old. To that 30-year-old, 60 is. (For me these days, Methusalah is now a whipper-snapper!!)
I’ve had a great deal of such loss experienced these last couple of years, some back-to-back-to-back. Even with my spiritual and somewhat esoteric beliefs regarding the transition of a human from one state-of-being to another, it has still managed to kick me’ arse in levels of grief previously not consciously experienced.
The ending of the above quote is a truth for me: “sometimes this is what awakens us.” There have been times it was like shaking off the dregs of a creepy dream a’la Steven King or Chuckie. Other times it was a floating-to-the-surface from being submerged. (I called it being in the aquarium. A shorthand visual I used to describe to myself and others..)
There were also times I received straight-forward “ah-ha” moments. These were truth-telling, compassionate, and actually rather joyful. Oh! now-I-see! (Gotta admit, these were my favorites.). Yet still….grief lingered like tiny pointy needles-of-a-cactus….embedded….not really seen, yet boy-howdy felt, at unexpected moments.
A loving compassionate dear-dear friend gifted me a private session with someone who helps others see/feel to the core of an issue. The ‘process’ is rather inexplicable, as it is meant to be; for the thinking-mind so often tries to rule (alors! not mine!!) and the need to bypass this is paramount to discovery. And healing. AND an awakening.
In less than 48-hours I literally felt a shift. Truth too, is that during the process, I felt shifts. Literally felt movement taking place in the body, as well as in the spirit-form. {If you are the least bit curious, check out MEMevolver.com }.
I realize that most folks wait until the discomfort, pain, what-ever-the-illusion-is, is jumping up and down vying for attention before one makes movement. 12-Step: sick and tired of being sick and tired. In these past few decades I usually address ‘stuff’ rather quickly.
Something I read years ago informed me that ‘pain’ (physical, emotional, spiritual) is really a gift, offering itself up to being revealed. ‘They’ suggested embracing the pain. Well now, with my definition of embrace (wrap my arms around someone and giving a hug…) I’m not that ‘welcoming’ to any type of pain, yet I have learned to hold out my hand for a hearty shake, and an invitation to sit and talk. To Listen to what is being (or attempting to be) revealed. Usually involves the re-Minder of the Serenity Prayer: Accept, Courage, Wisdom. An Awakening.
And a Shift.
I hope my conversation with PJ brought comfort, permission to feel what he feels, and an encouragement to give thanks: for the love, for the sweet rememberings, for an Awakening of his own.
Love finds a way.
Namaste’