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Mother and Child Reunion

” Oh, I would not give you false hope (no) / 

On this strange and mournful day / 

But the mother and child reunion / 

Is only a motion away.”     

~  Lyrics and song:  Paul Simon. 

As I mentioned to some folks earlier, I had an interesting way to bring July to a near-close this past weekend. A celebration of life for an individual I’ve known and worked with for more than 15 years. Bidding a good good-bye,  reflecting on memories of laughter, courage, “obstinance” (read: fear), baby-steps, and a few big leaps. All part of the journey ~ their’s and mine.  Another episode in this ‘life-is-change.’

I chose not to travel back to the celebration. I did not attend the ‘services’. Conscious choice on my part. Yet, indeed, I was with this person in both Mind and Heart space. One of the enormous honors I have “doing the work I love to do” is to hear about, learn, and bear witness to the history and path of a Life.  And…. to provide support, suggestions, hope, congratulations, encouragement, solace, and celebrations. 

(I am pausing here a moment to add the following:  I am not blowing smoke, nor am I bucking for any ‘accolades’ or facebook hits from others about ‘I’m so special’ or what I consider other coda self-serving bullcaca.  I truly mean it when I say that I consider it a true honor when another person trusts me enough to share their story, and looks to a partnership with me to walk-the-walk with them toward Change, in Mind and Spirit [and….once they get to know me, discovering it involves a healthy dose of humor.] Ok. Moving forward…..)  

I have had a multitude of people with whom I’ve worked, for more than three decades, that have died. Some in ‘accidents,’ some via medical/body dis-eases, some the addictions took, and some through their own choice to purposefully let go of Life (this time/this space). It never fails that their Life Story flows through my Mind. The hopes, the but-what-if doubts, the oh-I-could-never-do-That  mental limiters, the yea-look-at-me! successes, the soul-wrenching deep griefs that seem (to them) to be insurmountable, and the most-times moments of some self-acceptance, self-love, self-praise for who they are. Warts and all.  It IS a touching, beautiful Mind-memory story for me, most each and every time.    

I am a ‘fanatic’ about confidentiality.  Raised that way.  Part of the code of ethics of my chosen profession.  A cornerstone of my journey of recovery.  My spirituality.  And (after checking in with ‘the dearly departed,’ mentally), I am certain they would be more-than-okay with me sharing a bit of their story….and why I chose the ‘quote’ I chose.  (Actually, what I ‘heard’ was the individual saying “Sure, it’s okay. I’m done with this one. Maybe it’ll help someone else.”)  (Hahahaha ~ me and my Muses. To know me is to love me…and them!

Okay ~ as all good parables begin…..Once upon a time: A spirit-wounding event happened to this individual with the death of the mom (by her own hand) when the person was just an elementary school-age kid. The kid and sibs were playing in the house, while the mom was secluded in her bedroom. Ending her own life. The kids played, the mom died, unbeknownst to anyone. The dad came home. The world as they knew it changed in a heartbeat.  

Now, add in a deep fundamentalist religious belief and lifestyle, the “sin and shame” messages from family, community, and their house-of-worship members (and leaders), and one has the perfect scenario for a life-long journey of needing to atone for being-a-kid-and-not-knowing/not-rescuing/not-seeing-it-coming/not saving her. That yearning never left.

Fast forward. This individual embraced a decades-long history of being of service:  to education, to helping others with legal matters, to the country, to their community, to a social organization for kids and teens. And so much more. A Wonderful more. A Giving more. Yet…. deep inside, all the while…. that yearning never left. Still trying to please some “vengeful God”, of one’s own value and worth. To atone for the kid-not-knowing. Having difficulty discovering a God/Higher Power who loved them unconditionally. Having difficulty even believing in that deservability.  No matter how much they gave of themself.

And then, the world as they knew it changed in a heartbeat. Their heartbeat.

The humor, the goodness, the let’s-be-sillyness on rare occasions, the kindness and helping others….that still lives on in the hearts and Minds of those “left behind.” 

As I am wont to do at these times of reflection and communing with those I thank for having been a part of my life, I knew I would be “sent a sign” from them. A billboard, a song, a line in a book or film, the spontaneous uttering of a complete stranger. Heck, even a television commercial a time or two.  It always happens. Just like yesterday.  (As I end conversations, sessions, and posts with “Namaste’ ”  ~ please know ~ the Spirit within me honors the Spirit within you.)  I received a Namaste’

On the car radio, Paul Simon began singing “Mother and Child Reunion.”  I laughed, I teared up, and I knew. Thank you Spirit. Thank you friend.  The yearning is now over. 

All has come full circle.  All is Complete.

And so it is. 

Namaste’