~ Henry Winkler, actor, author, child-learning advocate.
“A human being’s first responsibility is to shake hands with himself. If you listen to what you know instinctively, it will always lead you down the right path.”
Had a neighbor dog, Tory, come to visit the other day. Tiny little thing ~ kind of a fluff piece with 4 legs and a tail. As I was going out to sit on the screened porch, it tagged behind, then stood hesitating at the threshold:
tiny step forward, tiny step back; tiny step forward, tiny step back. I was waiting patiently…..then impatiently….for him to decide. I finally uttered those infamous parental words: “in or out, make up your mind.”
I then laughed out loud.
I had heard those time-immemorial words directed at me from my mom’s mom. I had heard those words directed at me from my mom. I had {blush} even said those words to my own kids when they were just children, dashing in and out of the house, playing, forgetting one key toy, or a quick thirst quencher, before heading back out to play with friends. Screen door slapping for the ‘millionth’ time.
“In or out, make up your mind!” Oy!
As my brain and Mind are quirky things, I played the words in my head. In or out became inner out. And that’s just it is. A decision. To take what’s inside oneself ~ beliefs, thoughts, chosen mores, boundaries, and values ~ and let them show, live them, on the ‘outside.’ Congruity.
Kurt Vonnegut had a famous line; “We are what we pretend to be…..”.
Stop pretending. Be authentic. Even when others are not exactly thrilled with your views, your beliefs, your boundaries…at least they know one very, very important thing. Your honesty. Where you stand.
There is a Yiddish proverb “A half truth is a whole lie.” People-pleasing, ‘mind reading’, second-guessing, testing the waters, etc and yada yada. It’s exhausting! It’s fake; it’s giving voice to, and living, actually, a lie. Each and every time. (Ouch!)
Since I’m full of quotes today, here’s one from Bill Shakespeare: “To thine own self be true.” Alot of folks find this on their 12-step milestone medallions. A reMinder of where living falsely takes one. Just as importantly, a reMinder where living truthfully also takes one.
Inner out. Go ahead and step boldly. (You, too, Tory!)
Namaste’